Funny Quotes
Tell your boss how you really feel about him. Than the truth will set you free...... From your job
Dear math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I am tired of solving them for you
When I said that I cleaned my room, I meant a path from the door to my bed
I'm not clumsy. The floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall just get in my way!
You love flowers but you cut them. You love animals but you eat them. You love me, now I'm scared
I hate when I see my friends at the super market and there like "What are you doing here?" And i'm like "You know, hunting elephants.
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when
you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
I don't work on weekends. Or any day the ends with the letter "Y"
When you have a hammer in your hand, everything around you starts looking like a nail
Actual meanings of various terms: TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame
it on. HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software
problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry. INFLATION: Paying
today's prices with last year's salary.
it on. HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software
problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry. INFLATION: Paying
today's prices with last year's salary.
Why can't cats use the computer? Because it would get distracted by the mouse
There are three beautiful monkeys lost that should be in the zoo! One was last seen in the woods, the second one was seen in the super market, and the third one was just caught reading this quote
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I am afraid of widths.
a two year old is kind of like a blender, but you don't have a top for it.